"Why Aren't You Having Kids?"

Dana GG posted this heart wrenching video to   Youtube on September 25, 2015. Dana and her husband had been trying for years to have children and had to endure the heartbreak of 4 miscarriages and 1 stillborn birth. The video shows her husbands emotional reaction to the news of his wife's pregnancy. 

Social media has given us access to countless pregnancy announcement videos. But some videos are more heart wrenching than others, because some couples struggle to conceive or experience pregnancy complications that end fetal development.

Is it insensitive to ask couples why they are not having children? It seems like a question that comes up quite often. "How is work?", "How is your significant other", "When are you going to have a baby?" Questioning others about their reproductive intentions is potentially offensive and hurtful.

Writer Emily Bingham wrote a post on Facebook on September 20, 2015 addressing this issue:

“...people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business.... Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop. Please stop. You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration..."

The full article can be found on her Facebook page. Emily brings up additional points including: Single marital status, health issues unknown to the inquirer, uncertainty, and relationship issues. There are many sensitive reasons as to why people do not, can not, or are not sure about having children. Questions about conceiving are usually considered harmless "small talk" but they are capable of being quite hurtful.